I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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