do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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