GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
