You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize