we made out on top of his cat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
