I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
