I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
