I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
