I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
