I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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