I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
