tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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