I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
