Ambien. No doubt about it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
