I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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