they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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