Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
