So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
