So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
