We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
