why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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