We named our party play list daddy issues
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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