How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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