My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
