HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
