just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
