he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
