So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
