You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize