Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
