He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize