I like my sex mixed with concussions.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
