fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
