honey bunches of taint.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
