pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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