her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
