im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
