i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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