New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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