If i come over, it means nothing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
