Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
