all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
