I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
