I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
