i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
