dude i'm inner monologue high
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
