I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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