i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
