Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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