I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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