Taylor Swift is so right about you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
