u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just found a bag of teeth...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
