Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
