Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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